Samhain
by animemusicFBC
Summary: What happens on Samhain in the Mustangs office, is Ed really a zombie and who are the first victims? Find out in this side tale of the Fullmetal Alchemist gang. Note that Hughes is alive at the same time Ling is here I didn't want to make it AU or Alternate ending so thing of it as an adjusted timeline for comedy's sake because Hughes is hilarious.
1. Chapter 1

**Ch.1 Scary Stories in the Office**

_It was a dark and stormy night, much like this, a young Amestrian soldier came home from fighting a war with Aerugo._

_Expecting a warm welcome and hot food with a warm bed when he returned to his village, instead what he found was a dark and somber sky and a deserted village. The houses were cold and gave off a distrustful aura. Birds cawed ominously and a sharp wind blew from the north as if from the Briggs Mountains themselves. _

_The soldier called out, for his friends, his parents, siblings, love. No one answered. Alone he wandered through his village cold and hungry, the place felt dead and desolate, a barren, god-forsaken place that seemed as if the very demons from hell stood guard over it unseen and silent. _

_When he arrived at his house he found it empty and unlocked. Inside it was damp and dark the shutters blew wildly in the cold wind. Lighting a fire and finding something to eat the soldier felt like he was in a place abandoned by the world. Deciding to stay only the night he resolved to go to sleep. With no one here there wasn't any reason to stay in this town much longer._

_Hours later with rain steadily pouring as if the sky were crying at what was to come, the soldier awoke feeling a presence in the room with him. Calling out he looked around himself, seeing nothing but the dark and silent room lit only by lightning and only sound thunder cracking overhead and his own fast breathing. He felt something was in the town though what it was he could not say, nor why he knew it was there. Against all misgivings he went out into the freezing rain, and went to the main street where many a festival had been held. What met his eyes was a truly awful sight indeed._

_Dozens of bodies lay sodden and sprawled like a doll thrown a way to rot in a gutter. The people of his village were dead and had been for some time. Looking around he saw everyone he knew the children that would run after the cars in play, the kind old couple that sat demurely in the afternoons. He saw his family that was so proud of him for becoming a soldier. All of them had been ravaged by a disease; it covered their bodies in painful sores that oozed thick yellow pus. Slowly decomposing the fluids of their bodies washed away by the rain. Swallowing the bile that rose in his throat and trying to overcome the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him, he staggered back and dropped to his knees. Despair and revulsion fighting for dominance in his heart his mind blank, he scarcely was aware of the tears that intermingled with the rain._

_Slowly approaching him was a shape indistinct in the rain he stayed in his position stunned with hopelessness. As the shape became more distinct fear set deep within his bones. His fiancé, once a beautiful girl now disfigured by the plague that had swept through the village, she hobbled toward him slowly, slowly, her eyes were gone now just blank holes like an infinite vacuum. She held her arms out beseechingly and a ragged distorted voice called out. "Why? Why didn't you come for me? I waited for you, so why didn't you come home?" He stared in abject terror while one by one the other corpses started to move, each calling out in fear and pain, a den of tortured souls. "Mama!" "It hurts! It hurts!" "Help me!" "Please, kill me!" Sobbing and screaming they crawled toward him, hands outstretched, reaching towards him, clawing at him. Heart hammering and trying desperately to scramble away he backed into something. Looking up he saw the thing that was this love stare down at him, as she descended he screamed._

"Uuuwaaahh-" "EEEEEEEEEKKK!" Everyone in the room winced as a deafening shriek filled the office. "Jeez, Sheska." Havoc complained rubbing his ear. "No need to scream that loud." Looking flustered and embarrassed Sheska proceeded to apologize, "I'm so sorry sir, it's just, I get so absorbed in stories a-and ghost stories are so scary I just got overwhelmed." A dreamy and adoring look overcame her face now, "the glory of books and tomes, tales and fables, the triumph of legends and myths, it's so wonderful." Positively shinning with devout faith in books she was lost in her reveling.

Roy let out an aggravated sigh, _yet another moron to deal with_, Breda and the others just looked exasperated. Fury was the one who asked the question they were all wondering, "uh, Sheska, why are you here?" Sheska started as she was snapped out of her revere, "Oh! Well, Lt. Colonel Hughes said I could have the rest of the night off since its Samhain." At these words a vein pulsed in Mustang's head trying hard not to shout he asked in a strained voice, one hand rubbing his temple the other clenched in a fist, "Why did you feel the need to come over here then, wouldn't you rather go home?" The vein pulsed again. "More importantly," suddenly pointing at the three new arrivals, "WHY ARE YOU THREE HERE?"

"Eh? Why eating delicious food at your expense of course." Ling answered around a mouth fool of mutton.

"Where did you get that food?" Falman inquired secretly marveling at how quietly the intruders had gotten in.

"The Cafeteria."

"T-the Cafeteria?"

"Here Lan Fan try this." The Xingese prince turned toward his guard ignoring the aghast look on the warrant officers' face. Lan Fan politely accepted the pastry that was handed to her, "thank you My Lord, it looks delicious."

"Young Lord, have you had this stew it's quiet good." The elderly guard handed Ling a bowl of steaming vegetable stew.

"Really? Let me have some Fu."

"Will someone answer my question?!" Came an aggravated shout from the very incensed Colonel. "The Young Lord has come to pay a visit and wish you all well." Fu answered sipping tea.

Back in their corner Havoc and was entertaining the others with another ghost story. Ling who had eaten his fill wandered over to investigate with Fu and Lan Fan tailing behind leaving a rather vexed Mustang. Plopping himself on the couch Ling proceeded to make himself at home with Fu standing guard over him from behind and Lan Fan kneeling beside him on the floor. "So what's this Samhain, is it why you're telling stories?" Fury nodded smiling, "that's right, Samhain is a holiday for us here in Amestris about witches and monsters."

"Sgt. Fury that is inaccurate and unprofessional." Falman scolded. "Samhain originated from Creta where the people celebrated their third and final havrvest of the year. It in fact means "End of Summer" and is usually celebrated on the thirty-first day of the tenth month of the year. It is believed to have been the interval when time and space are temporarily suspended and the spirit world and ours are connected. People honor and communicate with the spirits of the dead."

"Wow, you sure know your stuff Officer Falman." Ling said impressed causing Falman to stand straight with pride. "Back in Xing we also have a holiday similar to your Samhain." A cry of joy and disbelief came from Sheska causing everyone to look at her, hands clasped in front of her with big shining eyes that spoke of the highest adoration possible she asked, "you wouldn't be talking about the famous Ghost Festival would you?"

Looking slightly non-pulsed Ling answered, "uh yeah, you've heard of it?"

"Of course! I've only read a little though I don't know the full details." She said looking down because of her lack of knowledge. Ling smiled and pointed to Fu, "Old Man Fu can explain right Fu?"

"Indeed Young Lord, the festival is called Yu Lan or Hungry Ghost Festival." Fu began choosing to ignore the jokes that Havoc and Breda were saying in regards to the name. "It is on the 15th day of the seventh month. It is said that on that day ghosts and spirits including deceased ancestors come from the lower realm. On that day we Xingese honor our ancestors and the other spirits of the departed. We make special foods, burn incense, and burn paper materials in shapes of items of this world so that the spirits may take it with them into the next."

"Sounds like fun." Remarked Havoc.

"Oh yes its very fu-"Ling was knocked off the couch by a stapler being thrown by Mustang. Ignoring the cries of "Young Lord, are you all right?" from Lan Fan he said with a very controlled tone, "That all sounds like fun and games but I'm tired of you all chattering like little school girls, unless you have something to do go home."

"But Col. we just wanted to spend Samhain with you, "Havoc smirked and proceeded to reach for his cigarettes.

Breda chipped in, "Yeah you always want us to be here with you and now you don't, make up your mind boss."

"That's when I'm busy working it doesn't do me any good if you're all having a tea party over there, now get out of my office." Falman about to say something no doubt in jest of Mustang's work ethic was interrupted by Alphonse bursting in. "Everyone it's terrible brother isn't normal!"


	2. Chapter 2

**I have discovered the use of copy paste. Amazing. anyway here's ch.2 finally sorry it took me so long procrastination and school work y'know. I feel like doing something that I thought was very nifty of another fanfictioner (best grammer) and that is to post what songs inspired me. Which is useful because I listen to music whenever I write. Today it would be FMA OST 1 Favorite Daughter because of Hughes of course. I find it cool to read while listening to the music.**

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Ch. 2 Ed's got a Problem

At Alphonse's sudden burst in everyone turned to take in the new turn of events. "Uh hey Al, where's Ed?" Fury hesitantly inquired. "So what's this about Ed he get thrown in jail or something?" Inquired Ling. Lan Fan nodded in agreement, "undoubtedly that is what happened."

"Hey, brother wouldn't be in jail, okay so admittedly he can get into trouble from time to time and he doesn't always respect authority, but he's a good person."

"You realize that in defending Ed you also just degraded him," Havoc pointed out to a indignant Al. "Oh I guess I did…"

While those squabbles were being played out a very aggrieved Roy asked to no one in particular, "since when did my office become a meeting place for morons?" Hawkeye dutifully responded, "didn't you know sir? It's always been like this." Roy stared at her with a look that clearly read: I didn't actually want an answer. He questioned to himself whether she was pulling his leg or not. However the even toned, deadpan faced lieutenant gave nothing away as usual. Instead she turned her attention to the very distraught suit of armor.

"So Alphonse what is this about Edward?"

Al snapping back to his initial worry started at the question. "Oh right, well brother isn't normal-" "Since when has Ed been normal?" came the snide comment from Havoc, Hawkeye shot him a deadpan look of reproach, "What?"

"Go on Alphonse," she encouraged.

"Well ever since we got back from the East Ed hasn't been acting normal."

"Where is he?"

"Outside."

Falman looked shocked, "you left him outside?"

"Well he didn't really look like he was up to going upstairs," came the straight forward reply.

Sheska during this time was edging forward ever closer drawn in be the conversation her controversial gears cranking. "So Al what symptoms does Ed portray?"

"Symptoms?!" Al looked positively alarmed, everyone else was looking at Sheska wondering where this was going. "Absolutely," she nodded empathetically, "tell me what he does and looks like."

"Well," Al gathered his thoughts and took on a contemplating look, "he looks kind of exhausted and moves sluggishly, he doesn't really talk more like moans and constantly reaching out a things." During this description Sheska proceeded to become more and more aghast. "Alphonse do you know what this means?!" "No that's why I was telling you." "It means," she made a dramatic pause every one leaned in closer skeptical, "it means that Edward is a Zombie."

Silence.

"Ah-huh?" Al looked confused.

"What's a Zombie?" Ling asked looking excited. Havoc looked bemused, and everyone wore this _is she for real? _look on their faces.

"You can't be serious." Roy frowned. "I resent that!" Sheska puffed herself up, "it's proven that with certain diseases can lead to the absence of one's senses leaving them a walking shell of person. There's also proof that if people are bitten by a person who has consumed another they will in turn turn into mindless creatures that wander around looking for other people to bite and turn into zombies too."

"Yeah but no one believes those people, they're just a bunch of nut jobs." Breda waved off the theory. Falman chimed in, "he's right Ms. Sheska, be realistic." While Sheska fumed, Fury turned to Havoc, "it really is silly superstitions right?" Havoc however had a contemplating look, "I don't know. I've heard of this happening before." Sheska perked up, "you have? See I'm not just making it up." "Oh yeah," Havoc nodded looking sagely lit a cigarette, "I've seen people gnaw off other people." Fury and Falman were completely taken in, Ling looked impressed, Fu and Lan Fan were intrigued. "Please that could never happen." Roy adopted an dismissive tone and waved his hand as though saying _no way, no how_, Breda was uncertain, "I don't know Colonel who's to say what can and can't be possible?" He received an indignant look from Roy, "you sure changed your tune fast…hey were did Lieutenant Hawkeye go?"

Everyone looked around but the Lieutenant was no where to be seen. "Maybe she's the first victim," whispered Sheska in a horrified tone. Fury looked nervous, "b-but he's downstairs." "Oh yeah."

"ROY!"

Hughes throws open the door to the office making everyone jump; "boy have I got news for you. Did you know that tomorrow is the day that my beautiful daughter Elicia was born?" Laughing manically he proceeds to pull out his ever present picture of his daughter riding a tricycle and kisses it, "isn't she adorable?" A vein definitely pulsed in Roy's temple. "Hughes." He said with forced composer. "Shouldn't you be doing work. Or at least be spending time with your wife that you won't shut up about?" Hughes pouted, "how rude, I came here to wish you well and all you do is nag me. You know if you ask me I think getting a wife would let some tension out-" "NO ONE ASKED YOU!" came the bellowed retort. "Wow. Blow out an eardrum why dontcha."

"Uh ," Fury asked, "who's that that your dragging?"

"Hm? Oh you mean this, I picked him on the way over here." He drew up a very bedraggled looking Ed. Oblivious to most horrified faces Hughes continued, "He looked like he could use a pick-me-up so I brought him over here." Laughing he slapped Ed on the back pushing the still figure forward making everyone flinch.

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**So Ed may be a weird zombie thing but hey look on the bright side Hughes is happy so everyone should be happy.**


End file.
